At our first fertility consultation, we thought getting pregnant would be easy.

Our hopes were set so high. We were able to conceive twice before – first, an ectopic pregnancy, and then with our first child, Hudson. But with every failed IUI and IVF cycle, it felt like this second child that we dreamed of – the sibling for our son – was moving further and further away from our little family. 

Our family-building process took years. The struggle started with a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and the emergency surgery that followed. That was the first time we had to mourn the loss of a pregnancy. Fortunately, we were able to try again and celebrated the birth of our first child shortly thereafter. 

The love for our firstborn was immeasurable, and we knew we had more love to give. Our desire to give him a sibling drove us to seek fertility help. We struggled with four years of secondary infertility. Meanwhile, it seemed everyone around us was announcing pregnancy after pregnancy. 

Stalled and disheartened with the fertility process, we eventually went through five rounds of IUI, a miscarriage at four months, numerous surgeries, three rounds of IVF, a known egg donor, and finally, an anonymous egg donor. 

Through each process, we learned very quickly that we had to be our own advocates. We had to do our own research, take handwritten notes trying to keep up with our physicians, and learn how the system worked by trial and error. Each failed cycle felt like a loss – the loss of a potential pregnancy and the loss of control. We had to be our own support network too.

We tried a few clinics – the medicine was there, but the guidance, the service, the technology, and the support was not. We always felt like we were just a number. 

No one takes you by the hand and shows you the way. Every bump in our journey felt like it could’ve been the end of the road, because no one was there to guide us through our options from the start. We got smarter as we went, but it took a long time. And time is of the essence when you’re trying to build a family and pursuing fertility treatment. 

We are so grateful to have the family that we do today. After all of the heartache and stress, it was worth it to finally meet our beautiful daughter, Bryce.

We thought “there must be a better way”

From the start, from our very first appointment, sitting in a waiting room filled with people wanting to build their family, we thought, there must be a better way. There must be a way to help people feel less alone, less shame, to be seen and heard, and to help them feel guided through a process that is overwhelming on every level – physically, mentally, emotionally, financially.

The fertility process is filled with so much new information and so many stresses, we didn’t know what to be prepared for. We were so committed and determined that we would do anything to make our goals a reality, but we don’t think people should have to go through everything we did. We should have been more informed. We should not have felt so alone. The stigma should have been lifted.

Because really, it’s the details that could’ve made a difference for us. It’s someone answering the phone when you call. It’s online access to our medical records and protocols. It’s the physician coming into the room, and they’ve already read your chart. It’s the warm welcome from your nurse who recognizes you from your last visit. It’s notes through email after your visit so you can be fully present during your conversation. It’s walking through your options with someone who cares, who wants to understand what matters most to you. It’s destigmatizing this process that so many of us go through. It’s what we wish we could’ve had, and what we believe everyone should experience.

The fertility journey is hard, and the fertility clinic should not make it harder. So we set out to build the experience we wish we had ourselves.